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We often deal with cases where one side wishes to modify a previous spousal support spousal support order.  One of the leading cases involving this area is Irmo Gavron (1988) 203 Cal.App.3d 705, which advises that at the time of any spousal support judgment, a supported spouse should be given a Gavron warning, which dictates that self support is expected, and that spousal support will likely terminate if the supported party fails diligently to take steps to enhance his or her earning ability.  The court further noted that any such warning should indicate that the supported spouse should make every effort to diligently “enhance her (or his) earning ability through retraining and education, and if she (he) fails to do so, support could be reduced or terminated.”


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Whether we want to admit it or not, we are the creators of our own reality.  So we can stop blaming others for the plight in our lives.  Children can stop holding their parents responsible for their own life’s issues.  And in turn, parents can stop blasting their kids for their own shortcomings.  By taking responsibility of our own lives right now, this very moment, we can begin to change the reality we exist in, and the direction in which our family is being driven.

Some call it the golden law of the circle, while universally it is referred to as cause and effect.  One ancient religious doctrine phrases it as an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hug for a hug, a kiss for a kiss.  In practical application, this means that what we generate through our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions, will generate the world in which we live.  Whatever we put out there, both good, bad, or indifferent, will pick up like vibrations and energies, and come back to pave the path we tread.

Thus, if we teach our kids to love and respect all that is, to wreak compassion through their every moment, they will not continue to face trouble and pain in their development.  Their lives will become filled with love and respect.  They will be treated by others in the same ways that they treat others.  Life will be kind to them, or unkind, depending on their own demeanors.

This is how the Universal Law works.  All of our thoughts, feelings, words and actions take on a life of their own.  They consist of a certain vibration and frequency, and this vibration picks up like vibrations which then strike the subject of our intention, then gain more like vibrations from the universe as they come back to fuel our own existence.  This is how we create our own reality.  And this is why we must stop tearing at each other in our own households.  We must learn to take the time out of each day to honor and respect each member of our household.  This is how we can begin to become the family we’ve always envisioned having, but never had the skills to know how to create.

Only by putting away the primal energies of fear and separation, will our children eventually learn how to develop healthy and loving lifestyles.  Fear breeds fear.  Anger magnetizes anger.  Resentment fuels negativity through the tunnel we tread called life.

Yet, if we focus on generating the greatest good for all through every thought, feeling, word, and action we create, we will begin to realize these energies are actually materializing in our own lives.  And this multiplies when we work with others in creating these positive realities.  If we, as a family, all work on this loving aspect of existence, and we work together on it, we will grow and change, and bring more loving, respectful existence into our own family’s life.


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A very important aspect in bringing great physical health to any family or member thereof is the recognition of the body/mind relationship.  It is important for parents to remember that our children can never attain optimal physical health if there are imbalances to their mental and emotional well-beings.  And this process of recognition must begin with us.

In the three dimensional world we live in, early on we begin to identify our physical presences.  As children, we learn to relate our looks and features to others around us.  We begin to identify with what we consider to be a healthy looking person from an unhealthy appearance.  What we tend to ignore, because no one has taught us this, is that we also have a mental body and an emotional body that we must account for.

Mental bodies can become unhealthy when filled with negative thought patterns.  Our lives are filled with ill-begotten mental-emotional reactive patterns that literally fill our beings with negativity.  Have you ever seen anyone who just can’t respond in a positive way to negativity that confronts them?  A mother who takes what her child does personally, and reacts through anger and aggression.  Or a father whose ego gets insulted by a wife or child who might challenge his questionable authority.  Children pick up on these patterns of the egoic mind, and they exploit them at school, with their siblings, or with others they associate with.

They develop ill mental-emotional reactive patterns that retard their development as they reach puberty, and then into adulthood.  These patterns are often passed down from one generation to the next, until the sickly pattern is broken.  For many, this pattern is repeated through generations before being broken.  Others, seemingly, never break this pattern.

So what happens is the negative energies espoused through our mental and emotional imbalances are then accumulated into our physical bodies, which create physical imbalances.  We are literally filling our physical well-beings with negative energies, which negatively affect our physical health.  This helps lead to cancers, headaches, heart problems and other physical ailments.  We can eat right, do our exercises, and take our nutritional supplements, but if we are having negative thoughts that are triggering negative emotions, these negative patterns of energy will bring us down physically.  This can happen to the individual.  And it can happen to entire families, whose physical maladies can be handed down by the generation.


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One of the most healing components in any family situation is expressing gratitude for what one has, rather than stressing what we don’t.  How many of us spend untold hours and years in our lives dwelling on what we don’t have?  If only I had worked harder with my grades then I would have a better job.  If only I had married my true love, rather than the wretch I sleep next to.  Or, Why did I have a child so young, she ruined my life.  We grow up fretting about the “what if’s” rather than recognizing how lucky we are to have so much.

One of the most spiritually powerful practices we can learn as children, or adults for that matter, is to give thanks for all that is.  Every night, before we go to bed, sit there and give thanks for having so much.  We have toes and fingers we can wiggle.  We have shelter and a comfortable bed to sleep in.  We have love that surrounds us, which is so important, and it’s so important to show the appreciation for everything we have been provided with.  The vibration behind gratitude is very strong, and we bring more reality into our lives of this frequency when we express it, and send this energy into the universe.  In the mornings, give thanks for all that is.  Appreciate the beauty in the songbird’s notes.  Tap into the tenderness of a morning breeze.  Recognize all that we have, and this energy will carry with us all the way through our day.  It is the perfect way to dwell at night, before heading into our healing subconscious and our nightly multi-dimensional dreamwork.


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We learn early on in life that an eye for an eye leads to a tooth for a tooth.  As we grow older, we are told that cause leads to effect.  But most of us never learn the truth behind these two apparent laws of life.  The first is that an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth also applies to hugs and kisses.  So the reality is that the statement should read:  an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hug for a hug, a kiss for a kiss.  The good always comes from good, and negative will always bring about negative results.

It is the same with cause and effect.  We are told that every action has an equal reaction from the universe.  But, later in life, if we are lucky, we also learn that there is one key exception to this rule.  It is called forgiveness.

If we can learn how to forgive, and to ask for forgiveness, it breaks the chain of cause and effect.  If we say something bad and hurtful to someone, we can reverse the negative consequences therefrom.  We ask our son to forgive us for this angry outburst.  By asking for forgiveness, we recognize the pain we have caused, and begin to reverse the negative chain it might create.  If we can actually forgive our son for hurting our feelings, we’ve not only broken the chain of negativity we started by reacting in a negative painful way, but we’ve then begun the healing for our son, who has yet to learn to temper his emotional outbursts.  Forgiveness is a very powerful healing tool that can be used to build greater understanding and awareness between family members.