What is divorce mediation?

Family Law mediation is one of the more common methods of negotiating to settlement the legal issues that arise in a divorce. It is not going into court and litigating each issue tooth and nail. In divorce mediation matters, you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse may hire a specialist in family law as mediator, someone who will meet with you in an effort to resolve your differences and come to a negotiated agreement. The family law specialist acts as mediator and facilitator who will help you and your spouse resolve your issues in a fair and equitable manner.

Mediation of a divorce is an important option both parties should consider as it saves costs and stress for both parties. Mediation is designed to help both parties and has a long list of benefits for families. The benefits include, but are not limited to:

• Mediation usually costs much less than litigation which may require a series of court hearings.
• With your direct participation, mediation should result in a comprehensive settlement of all the issues in your matter.
• Mediation is confidential, meaning there is no public record of declarations or financial information.
• A lawyer of your choice can still give you legal advice during your mediation.
• Your spouse and you are in control of the entire process of mediation.
• The mediation process allows time for you to improve communication with your spouse.
• Mediation will help minimize the emotional damage children may experience during their parents’ divorce.
• Maybe most importantly, mediation allows you to negotiate the terms of your agreement based on your own ideas as to what is fair in your situation and what is best for your family as a whole as opposed to having a solution imposed upon you by a family law judge that is based upon impersonal legal principles.

Mediation is not for all divorcing couples. Matters where there is a history of domestic violence or an imbalance of power between the parties may not be right for mediation. But if your spouse and you are willing to communicate and compromise with each other in a rational manner with open minds you could mediate.

Your Divorce Mediator should be a specialist in family law who will help the two of you stay on track with the issues and in tune to one another, to listen to each other, to respect and understand each other’s opinions. It is important to listen to your spouse’s perspective and to be willing to compromise. Compromise is key to reaching a fair and mutually beneficial settlement in the mediation process.

Being able to empathize with your spouse’s position is important. Hopefully your spouse will do the same. They will feel what it’s like to be you. The idea is that you reach an agreement based on trust and understanding where both of your best interests, and those of the children if there are any, are taken into account and addressed.

This mutual understanding will be drafted by the mediator into a settlement agreement. If children are involved, a parenting schedule or a parenting plan will be needed. Other legal documents will be drafted such as a Petition for Dissolution or Legal Separation, and Financial Disclosure documents. The mediation process allows you and your spouse to decide the terms to live by in a divorce, terms that you agree to live by, without your family having to suffer through the negative emotions and financial costs of a courtroom trial.

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